burden

Bill Collector’s Notice

Posted on by flamesinthesilverlining

Sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i would have said anything else.

Im afraid the few nights you spend with someone else would be the end of me.

Maybe it just isnt meant to be

Whats good to me

Isnt best to you.

What im saying is i just want whats best for you.

Even if that isnt me… i guess

The words linger in my mind and i want to get it off of my chest.

I wish it was easy to forget

I wish we could let bygones be bygones

And live happily yet

I see the realities that fade quickly

In a moments kiss

And a night of cuddles

I knew it wasnt but i wished it was.

I was ready to risk it all for a green light

Moving too fast

Stopped at your red light

No specials,

My hearts an open vessel

And your ships welcomed to dock at any moment

Because what your selling is potent

And i pray that she dont get hooked on my earnins

Because when the bill comes i collect

And for your love im yearnin.

Until then i pray you find what you need on this journey.

Grim Reaper

Posted on by flamesinthesilverlining

If I stop writing
I might find an excuse to kill myself
Not because of you
or him
or her
or because people lack compassion for others
or because of racial injustice
or the fact that there are complete psychos outside
who may kill me first and I would prefer to have the gratification
But,
Because idle time is the devil’s playground
and while i may sit here all alone
The world seems to carry on
so what’s the world with
one less lonely girl
toting a shit ton of “imaginary” issues
because what I see seems to be invisible to most
and I’d hate to give someone else the burden
Because when I do it
I’ll be able to get away with murder

Today I want to give up 

Posted on by flamesinthesilverlining

Today I want to give up

I want to stay hidden under my covers where nobody else’s judgement, but my own can touch me.

I want to avoid the tests, the homework, the pop quizzes, the lectures that have no real value once I die.

I don’t want to eat because I have high hopes that it will increase my ability to evaporate so I don’t have to step in front of a city bus because I don’t want to disappoint my mother any further.

I don’t want to be depressed anymore, but that’s the only true feeling I feel anymore.

I want to totally avoid people but then I also want to be wrapped up in my mothers arms while I cry about the million things that break my heart everyday.

I want to find a solution to the reason as to why I’m never good enough or why I can’t be better, but I can’t.

The overwhelming feeling of inadequacy is exactly why I must stay under my covers to avoid misjudgment for yet another day.

So today… I have given up.