Today I want to give up
I want to stay hidden under my covers where nobody else’s judgement, but my own can touch me.
I want to avoid the tests, the homework, the pop quizzes, the lectures that have no real value once I die.
I don’t want to eat because I have high hopes that it will increase my ability to evaporate so I don’t have to step in front of a city bus because I don’t want to disappoint my mother any further.
I don’t want to be depressed anymore, but that’s the only true feeling I feel anymore.
I want to totally avoid people but then I also want to be wrapped up in my mothers arms while I cry about the million things that break my heart everyday.
I want to find a solution to the reason as to why I’m never good enough or why I can’t be better, but I can’t.
The overwhelming feeling of inadequacy is exactly why I must stay under my covers to avoid misjudgment for yet another day.
So today… I have given up.